Having a Baby Doesn't Make You a Mother!!!!!

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Every so often a story hits the presses or a news feed that can challenge the strongest believers faith and conviction. Today, the story that challenged my faith in humanity is that awful occurrence in Texas. For those who haven't heard, a mother was arrested for sexually assaulting her 5 or 6 yr old child. I never thought I would hear a story where molestation would've been kinder than what actually occurred; and today was the day I did. This sick idiot (clearly upset and not thinking straight) ripped her sons' scrotum from his body, glued it back on with super glue, and then put him to bed with paper towel shoved in his underwear (I guess to serve as a bandage of some sort). Even now as I write this it brings tears to my eyes, lethargy to my spirit, and shame to my heart. What kind of monster are you to think of such a thing? What depraved kind of demon must you be to carry this out? As a practically minded individual I tend to lean toward rationalization in bizarre or unimaginable circumstances in life; but this one right here, there are no reasons in heaven or hell that could even begin to rationalize this horrific tragedy. The fear that child must have experienced throughout that entire ordeal had to be bitterly overwhelming; and the fact that he survived it at all is a miracle in itself. God bless you, brave little soul; and may all the blessings in heaven be bestowed upon you.

Having a baby doesn't make you a mother, and not every mother gave birth to her child. It's funny how we have to be tested, verified, or certified for most roles we play out in life; except for parenthood, which is the most important role any human being will ever play in their existence. I'm almost certain there are at least a handful of people around wishing they had intervened before this happened to that child. Clearly the woman is sick in her head, and it didn't  just happen over night! Personally I don't care how sick she! They better throw the whole library at her crazy ass; and then pick up every book, and throw them all again! As compassionate as I am, honestly speaking I do not care what happens to this person; and I don't think they have invented a punishment that can fit this crime. Whatever they convict this woman of, max time warranted; and that will have to do until she burns in hell. What I'm saying maybe harsh, and not everyone will agree with my views. All I know is as a mother myself, she dishonored and violated every code a mother is charged with the second she decides to bring life into this world. If you can look at your baby and willing do harm to that child, in my opinion you are capable of anything, and it is obvious that life has little value to you. If your having a bad mommy day get a babysitter, call a family member over to watch the child. Or, if you have no one lock yourself in a room for a spell til you shake off the crazy! But, never ever is it an option to mutilate a child whether its Yours or Someone Else's!!!!  

We've all had bad mommy days in raising our families; and some weeks they appeared to be never ending. We all have our angels and little bad asses, children all have their moments of WTH, and we pray to God for the ability to end the day without having to say WT*! Usually how it works out is the annoying child does the cutest thing ever; and then they become little angels all over again- before the next round of temper tantrums... then repeat the same format the following day! It's not rocket science, its just FAMILY; and being a MOM is a roller coaster ride! At times it can be a thankless job; and sometimes the appreciation shown becomes so overwhelming, it could take your breath away. Its patience (or the lack there of) which truly paints the perception, of the context from where you gain access to your view of motherhood; to break that down simply put, loving or hating your motherhood experience is a choice! It's a job that ain't for everyone, though almost anyone can get the job; and what I wish right now more than anything, is that someone should had fired that broad before she did a job on her son. Advice from other moms (whether friends or family) always helped me through the rough mommy days. Some of the advice actually worked from time to time; and other days it was just nice to have a supportive ear, or hear an encouraging word. As always, I attached a link above with great discipline alternatives as well as practices for young or new parents. Maybe if someone had given that woman this book, her son wouldn't be forced to experienced PTSD for God only knows how long. Please let us all pray for the quick recovery and future well being of this child. I think he has earned our prayers. #patienceisavirtue #familygrind

I'm gonna need my strength...

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 So, today I made a very important acquaintance via social media. I know you've seen me slam social media because of how it can encourage human disconnection; and today I'd like to offer an example of how social media can promote healthy human interaction. This morning I was cruising my various media accounts when some IG likes began posting up. A young gentleman who goes by @goldy_h had liked a few of my pics; which prompted me (of course) to check out his photo gallery, mostly to see whether he'd be worth returning the follow or not. To my surprise, I found his page inspiring, uplifting, encouraging, as well as highly motivating! This was a rare moment for me in my IG relationship; considering that 2 out of 3 pages I view regularly are shallow, and promote not much more than hooking up or getting turnt up! On this man's page I found nothing but pics of family, friends, co-workers, and his workout team; with the occasional pic of him dressed for church, excited to go and praise the Lord. Strange, right?! As if that wasn't uplifting enough I then read a few of the captions and viewed the IG qik vids. To further my surprise, I began taking into account his dedication to fitness, health, teamwork, and the joy of accomplishing personal goals. Talk about finding a diamond in the rough- in Philadelphia no less!

Instantly I found myself inspired by his excitement for living well. It further reminded of the importance of my personal fitness goals. Then it happened! I immediately replied to his comment on my pic; asking for details about his FREE fitness boot camp that occurs weekly- here in Philadelphia! @goldy_h did not hesitate to get back to me right away; and not long after we commenced in phone conversation, where he thoroughly filled me in on all the info regarding the boot camp and his being an Herbalife distributor. The passion he displayed during the course of our call was so compelling that next thing I knew we were making an appointment for a workout session. @goldy_h was so confident in his ability to motivate me to join the boot camp crew; that he promised if I didn't like the private training session, he wouldn't hold me to attending the fitness boot camp course- which did I mention is free? With a sales pitch like that how could I say NO! I hung up the phone feeling inspired, recharged, reengaged, and focused. Not too many people I encounter have the ability to capture my attention as well as respect; managing to do so at the same time and so quickly. I'm actually excited about the private session; and love it or hate I am going to the boot camp regardless. If he can show up for me to encourage my personal motivation for my fitness goals; I can certainly reciprocate by showing up for the fitness boot camp- here in PHIladelphia- THAT'S FREE!

So today was a great social media day for me! Now, not only am I working on fine tuning my diet with high fueling healthy foods, while  juicing it up with steady veg&fruit intake; but I can also add a steady fitness workout regimen, that is certain to assist me in reaching my fitness goals safely. My blog S/O's today go out to IG for reconnecting me with a former acquaintance I'd lost touch with; and to Mr. @goldy_h for the push I needed to step full into my health grind! Please everyone go check out @goldy_h on IG asap! How often do we have access to young black men who are more than worth supporting? Bravo young man! You did the impossible! You got me focused MAN! As always I posted a link at the top for awesome juice recipes you can easily make at home. Join me in getting fit before the New Year rolls in. This year, I'm not waiting for the New Year to come to get it all together. I'm gonna have it all together when the New Year arrives!  I now also have a positive social media story to share- yay!!! This proves you can find good and bad in anything. So in close  I'd like to share one more thing with you my Grandma use to say, "How you start your year, is how you'll live your year". #goodadviceforagoodlife ! Juice up, drink up, and toast to LIFE! CHEERS!!!  

Why Has Dating Become So Weird?

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So, is it just me or does dating get more strange as we age? People seem to just not know how to interact with one another anymore. It's like we're only listening for the AH-HA moment when the bad guy/girl finally tells on themselves; kindly enabling us to escape the noose of disappointment yet again. The art of communication has become more illusive to even me; and not to toot my own horn, but I'm a gifted communicator! This leaves me puzzled greatly because in my mind communication should've gotten easier with age- am I right?! Then it hit me like eureka- BAM! It's the fear factor that has us all tongue tied and awkward. What we often times forget in the whole dating game is that as we age, most of us take our prior experiences along with us on the ride; making it nearly impossible to see a true fresh start with anyone, and most times waiting for previous disappointments to show up in this new person. I believe this is why people love social media so much. You don't have to get invested in any thing or one, and the connections only last as long as it takes to refresh your news feed. So, when it comes time to meet face to face and simply be yourself confusion as well as fear step into the mix. Inadvertently, huge barriers are created turning simple gestures into hurdles; where effective and mutually beneficial conversation will now be forced to jump repeatedly, looking for a safe place to land. No wonder I'm exhausted after the first 10 minutes on a date with someone new. My date became my intellectual cardio coach, and now I just want to go home and watch Scandal on my DVR. 

There's nothing worse than seeing two people out together, yet they're both on their phones cruising social media sites. Or, they're posting about what's happening on their date; while ignoring the person they are on a date with, to engage in pointless chitchat on FB IG Twitter or whatever. I recently saw a pretty lady dump her entire meal on the guy she was dating, yelling like a crazy person screaming bloody murder. Apparently, he was setting up his next date for later that night after he dropped her off; and all of this was visible on FB and IG. Well, considering they both shared some of the same social media friends it quickly got back to the woman what his true intentions for the evening were; and here she had been thinking they were going out early due to his work schedule changing last minute and all....lmao! What was better than that, was watching him try to deny it while she was showing him the evidence of the truth on her phone! Then it all turned ugly when she snatched his phone up, and dumped it in a glass of sparkling water. To see a grown man become so emotionally perplexed over an electronic device was the best part of all; and then he began screaming bloody murder, threatening to post all her nude "selfies" when he got his new phone! The surprise twist in the script of this modern day romantic drama/comedy is the fact that these people were in their 30's. So, I'd be a fool to develop high expectations in this apathetic dating climate; especially after witnessing that hot mess, which proves it would be a great waste of my very valuable time to do so.

This all brings me to my weird little moment in dating. I was recently asked out by an old friend, who I would've never accused to be attracted to me in any way other than friendship. I've known this man over 20 years! This comes as a huge surprise to me. My dilemma at this point is what to do with this information. Do I begin to date this person, or should I protect the friendship and decline the date invitation? What if the rejection kills the friendship? What if I end up really liking him? I'm almost tempted to look him up on social media to find a good excuse to decline. BTW, yes guys we do that too! As stated in my last post I am a single woman who is dating. Not one person in particular, so I guess you could say I'm briefly shopping around. I wouldn't say I'm looking for "Someone"; though I'm certain I'll know exactly who he is once He finally arrives. For some reason its just not as simple as it was when we were kids; you like someone, they like you back, and this continues until its over. I don't really enjoy the whole social media dating scene. I see it as a place where people go to hide, hoping to get lucky, before anyone catches on to who they really are in Real Life. Whatever happened to flowers, writing actual letters, and long walks before going home? Guess it's official- I'm Old!! What I am looking for is a good time! Creating beautiful memories to last a lifetime is what I'm really good at. So, I think I'm gonna say yes and go on the date with my old buddy. What's the worst that could happen? Maybe end up disappointed, again? OOO... I'm so scared!? LMAO!!! But really, these days life for me is all about not letting my fears dictate my future. I'm relearning to let life be life; while remembering that love is only love. Sometimes we unfairly expect more of life and love than what they're truly capable of providing; and we also forget that only God can predict what happens next because HE wrote the story. So, what you doing this weekend?! 

About Last Night....

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So....last night I had one of the best times I've had in a long time. A night filled with food, wine, laughter, music, and brilliant company with a like-minded soul. For those who really know me, know that I was married for over 10 years; and then was in a long term committed relationship for another 3 years after that. Whoa... you want to talk about being tired from caring for others who could have cared more?! Baby, I could write a book on that topic. Well, now I'm truly single with no attachments for the past year; and it has given me a chance to rediscover who I am today. Today I'm a 30something single mom, who just happens to be a recording artist/writer; searching to find the proper vehicle to successfully relaunch my brand into the marketplace, without embarrassing myself at the same time. At my age this is not the easiest feat to accomplish; unless I'm willing to become a size 0, parade around naked for the hell of it, sing songs that have absolutely no true meaning, and do anything to become a tabloid celebrity. Yeah....I ain't feeling that! So at this point looking for the perfect artistic vehicle is the only real option I have, and this will require a great amount of time as well as patience on my part. So, in the mean time my only real goal is to LIVE. Living life to fullest is the only way a true artist should live; collecting memorable experiences along this beaten path we call life, and then sharing them with the world to create a comfort zone for those who struggle with the human condition day to day. So..About last night?! Hell Yeah... I had a great time LIVING!!!

It all started with a glass of white wine in one hand, and a sharp knife in the other; and no I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, of course I was cooking. We talked shop for a bit, while listening to music as I cooked; which is something that I adore doing. The fellowship of it all is what I dig most; just connecting with another human being in real life and not on social media. Btw, I saw a post on Instagram the other day that made me sick! Some guy nailing this broad from the back and the caption read, "Started with a Follow now we Here"! Where do these people find this stuff, and what makes them think its cute?! I on the other hand met this person taking a walk one evening, while he was walking his cute little dog in our neighborhood. Now a few months later, several phone conversations, vast common interests shared, and a mutual kindred attraction to one another's spirits- here I am cooking an amazing dinner in his kitchen for the first time. He- surfed the net for cool movie trailers advertising what films are about to release. I- chopped, prepped, marinaded, and cooked; while we sipped wine laughing at all the funny clips. My smile was genuine because I felt safe, his smile was adorable because it was authentic, and there we were having a great time just being ourselves with each other. Once I plated dinner and forks were in hand the night just went from 10 to 15! Then when the plates were empty and our backs were glued to the backs of our chairs from being full, the night turned to fire and hit 20! At that moment I truly thanked God for the gift of life; because moments like these don't happen everyday. From table to couch the evening continued, watching films we both dig that your average Joe wouldn't. It was beautiful to merely share time with another, and become a shining example of what it means to simply live and let live.

Forget about asking for all the details, because I ain't telling you! The true purpose of me sharing this wonderful experience with you, is to encourage you to make time for Life! You never know where life is coming from or where it will find you. This is why its so important to be present every moment that you can. Life happens in seconds, comes and goes as it pleases, and can be missed in the blink of an eye if you're not present. Do I know where this beautiful night will lead? Nope! Do I have expectations on where it will lead? Trying my damnedest not to?! Am I getting my hopes up high for a future with this person? Hell no!! I'm just looking forward to cooking dinner for him again! At the top of this post I attached a link. I'm urging all my readers to check it out. Its where to go to find great restaurant quality recipes like what I cooked last night.  I'm not saying that dinner made the night; but it definitely set the tone for an awesome time to be had by us both. Never underestimate the power of a great meal! Countries have been saved from solid negotiations over a great meal at a dinner meeting; and families have been restored just by sitting down at a table to eat some of Grandmas' famous this or that. Could last night have been good without me cooking? Sure! It just wouldn't have been as Fantastic! Get the recipes, get a good knife and cutting board, pick out some really great wine, and invite or go visit someone you can really talk with; and put social media on the shelf just long enough to be Social in your  Real Life. Cheers Peoples! Here's to LIFE! Have a great day, and Bon Apetit!